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So, I am now on a new mission. My objective? To land Ari Gold as my agent. Why? Please; the guy is the best in the industry.

As you may have taken notice, this post is titled “Ari Gold Quotes“. And I intend to deliver. Besides for Ari Gold being an agent par excellence, he is also famous for his one-liners and what is commonly referred to as Ari Gold Quotes.

These are my favorite Ari Gold Quotes:

1) You can have it if you want to live in Agoura fucking Hills and go to group therapy, but if you want to live in a Beverly Hills mansion, a country club membership, and nine weeks in a Tuscan villa, then I’m going to have to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday!

2) Let’s hug it out, bitch.

3) Pass this message along to Dana. Tell her I still have the pictures from Cancun and tell her I’m going to start a website. I’m going to take a full page ad in the LA Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called a iamahollywoodexecutivewhore.com, and no password or fees will be required. Tell her I want a fucking callback.

4) Got milf?

5) Fuck the phones, Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty-fuck, don’t answer!

6) [after his Viagra has kicked in] I’m like R.Kelly at recess!

This entry was posted on Monday, February 19th, 2007 at 6:33 pm and is filed under Ari Gold. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.