This morning I check my email. There is a Google alert for “Paging Ari Gold“. The site was picked up by my new favorite blog Suburbarazzi.
So, I got in contact and we did an interview. By phone.
Read it. Trust me. It’s quite funny. Right here.
It’s always about trying new things. Yesterday I wore a skirt. Today I am wearing nothing. Tomorrow I may don an astronaut suit. Point is; you get what I am saying. I think you do. Hoping you do.
I have not given up on my quest to get in contact with mega agent Ari Gold. In fact, my desire to be his client has only increased since last week.
Today, I reach out to his assistant Lloyd and request that he hook me up with Ari Gold.
So, I am now on a new mission. My objective? To land Ari Gold as my agent. Why? Please; the guy is the best in the industry.
As you may have taken notice, this post is titled “Ari Gold Quotes“. And I intend to deliver. Besides for Ari Gold being an agent par excellence, he is also famous for his one-liners and what is commonly referred to as Ari Gold Quotes.
These are my favorite Ari Gold Quotes:
1) You can have it if you want to live in Agoura fucking Hills and go to group therapy, but if you want to live in a Beverly Hills mansion, a country club membership, and nine weeks in a Tuscan villa, then I’m going to have to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday!
2) Let’s hug it out, bitch.
3) Pass this message along to Dana. Tell her I still have the pictures from Cancun and tell her I’m going to start a website. I’m going to take a full page ad in the LA Times advertising it. Tell her it will be called a iamahollywoodexecutivewhore.com, and no password or fees will be required. Tell her I want a fucking callback.
4) Got milf?
5) Fuck the phones, Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty-fuck, don’t answer!
6) [after his Viagra has kicked in] I’m like R.Kelly at recess!
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