oneparkavenuereality.com

Big stuff. Not that big actually. Just stuff.

Last week, my grandmother became an online celeb. The funniest thing is that to my knowledge, she has never used the internet. You can more about it here.

So, Tech_Space, a blog on usatoday.com, had a posting about my Bubby with the caption “2007’s first online star?”

All cool. Especially since the writer gives me credit for something I didn’t do! Angela Gunn writes, …..”Mr. Tennenhaus is no stranger to making a splash on that site“….These words are linked to this article.

However, if you read the article, the site I made a splash with is not YouTube. It was MySpace! In fact, the title of the article was “If you see these CEOs on MySpace …”

Ooops! MySpace, YouTube; all in the same boat, right? Apparently so!

How long has it been since I blogged? When I last blogged, James Brown was still breathing!

CBS is giving you and me the chance of a lifetime. Of course, the previous sentence only applies to those of us who consider fifteen-seconds of TV exposure a “lifetime”.

You can find out more here.

FYI, this is part of the CBS initiative to become more interactive. There was an article in yesterday’s WSJ that mentioned the contest.

Anyways, your dedicated YouTube correspondent, me, has created his own 15-second clip. For whatever reason, when I watch my clip on my Dell craptop, the first few seconds are hazy.

So far, the response to my fifteen-seconds has been minimal yet positive. YouTube user fatgirlsrox had this to say: “yuck”. Thanks!

I am feeling pretty confident about this one…

So, this morning I get an email from Kris, informing me that I have been blog tagged. Kris was tagged by shoemoney who was tagged by Andy who was tagged by Avinash, who beget Dave…sounds like Bible history.

It’s been forever. Since I blogged. For you. It pains my heart that you feel neglected. Like a stray cat.

Let me fetch you a bowl of warm milk. And let’s put this behind us. Better yet; remove it from behind you and bury it in the litter box.

Just so you understand; not that I need to provide any of you with justifications for my absence!

Last week, I was away. In Montreal. All week long. I miss the people. Not the place. Anyways, too busy to blog then.

This week, I was busy with recuperating from my trip from last week!

Also, it has become evident that blogs are a thing of the past. Case in point; blogs have become mainstream. Sounds contradictory, no?

Let me elaborate; blogs were once a novelty. If you had a blog, people would bow at your feet. (Unless you walked on your hands and it that case they’d kneel to your hands.)

Web browsers would surf the net, cruising to discover the writings of a total stranger. Today, blogs have morphed into a common day word as in “honey, did you feed the blog?”.

These days, everyone has a blog. Even the guy who doesn’t have a blog, has a blog called “whyidonthaveablog.blogspot.com”.

What is hot in our era? Streaming video. Of course, this is a trend that can come and go much like the blog mania of the early 2000’s.

But right now, it is sizzling hot. Hence, I have been spending more time with my youtube channel.

I am unsure at this point if anyone has grasped the situation. So, I will inform. The title of my previous BP (Blog Post for the slackers who forgot the newly minted abbreviation) appeared in parenthesis. Do I not rock? Am I not the sultan of irreverence? Who does that? Nobody? Until I showed up.

Yes. Of course. Ten years down the line, some punks will begin to adapt to my gonzo form of blogging. However, let it be known; I was the first. It was I who set foot on this path. Who paved the road to the dainty destination.

As has been corroborated in various forms of analytical software, this wretched blog garners a minuscule amount of traffic. Am I ashamed? Not quite. In fact, I think it would behoove me to create a bumper sticker that boldly reads “I am the proud owner of a shitty, shitty blog”. Hmmm. Maybe even kitchen magnets. Mugs. Heck, I can create an empire!

So; so few of you actually come here. We are therefore a close-knit community. Whether you like it or not. This is the reality.

It has come to my attention that one of our dear siblings has been given the shaft by thedenimbutt.com, I site once gloated upon, by me, on this very parcel of cyber property. Here.

Brothers and sisters. We cannot sit by idly and fold our hands while one of us deals with this calamity.

The question is: does the denimbutt.com have the predeliction of lying out of their ass?It seems that others have been taken advantage of as well. You can read more here. And thedenimbutt.com is part of luleeta.com.

Consider yourselves warned!

The folks of Oglivy have cruised my blog. Splenda! (That’s a brand of sweet and low for all of you who use real sugar.)

And I have proof of the mather matter. Their DNA has surfaced on my radar.

Normally, I would choose to ignore of a visitation of such magnitude.

Oglivy, for those of you who use authentic sugar, are the folks who invented the billboard. Long story short, in the early 1600’s, there was a man called “Elroy McFudsmith”. I am not sure what exactly transpired next. But I do know this. Oglivy is rather large ad company.

So, to the folks from Oglivy who window shop this piece of web property, I say: Welcome. Please make yourself at home. You can even lounge on the leather couches in the living room.

Comfortable? Good. Help me! Get me out of this One Park of Domain. Hire me. Give me my own office. With a secretary. Do you see how low I have fallen?

Just a few months ago, I was living large in a Montreal basement. Today…I have become the official Rabbi of YouTube.

SOS.

Truth is, as stated in my previous post, I may want out of this blog. But before I might leave you stranded….just need to preform a public service.

You see, I just checked by blog stats for the day. And of course, it was another pitiful day of traffic. However, there was a glaring glare facing me in the face.

The blog got a bunch of traffic from people googling for a “j crew coupon code“.

Makes sense. After all, today was Cyber Monday. Many moons ago, I wrote a post titled “yahoo suggests jcrew coupon code“. As a result, if you make a search for “jcrew coupon code“, my blog is on the first page of results. (If that achievement alone does not make me sexy, I give up.)

Problem is…that specific post does not contain any coupon code. So, essentially, people are coming here for nothing; cause you and I both not, there aint nothing to read in this joint. (To defend myself just a bit; that blog post does inform people how to find current coupons…)

Problem solved. I think. And hope. Below is a Jcrew.com newsletter from today. If you scratch the email, you can actually sniff Jcrew CEO Mickey Drexler. The offer is “free shipping on orders of $175 or more“. Pretty crappy coupon in my opinion. The code is: FSA-1127.

Gap has a shoe site. It is still in business. The site is pretty. Besides the green. What gives? It’s an ugly color. The blue is nice though.

We know that Gap is hemorrhaging. Btw, if anyone is a Blood Type O, we urge you to donate some blood to Gap Inc. This cadaverous clothing company is in need of a blood transfusion. In fact, with a bit of irony, Product RED has been a blessing for Gap.

To put things into perspective, AIDS is the best thing that has happened to Gap in years.

Things at Gap are so crappy, I hear that the citizens of Africa are raising money to help out this struggling corporation!

So, the geniuses at Gap decided they needed celeb power for Piperlime. To who did they turn? Rachel Zoe! What the hell were they thinking?

Check out this new poll from US Weekly Magazine.

Good going Gap. I can always rely on you for an entertaining gaffe!

The other day, not today, there was an article in the WSJ. The paper. Not the online edition. Not in swim suit edition of the Journal either. It was in the standard print WSJ.

The article was about how online retailers, specifically, ebay, amazon and overstock, are losing ground to traditional retailers, in particular, Target & Walmart.

FYI, there was another piece in today’s WSJ (yes, it’s the only paper I read) about Walmart stores being a boost to malls! All the foot traffic is a benefit to the other shops. Cool, no?

Anyways, I noticed lately how Walmart & Target are both ramping up their online presence. Screen shots are from today.

Target is running a promotion with David Blaine. More here.

Can this be the end of Perez Hilton? I hope not. While I am trying my very best to beat a perezhilton.com addiction, millions of others are still off the wagon with no intention of ever climbing back on.

Perez is now getting a taste of his own medicine. This does not bring me joy, though I am sure there are those who are cackling with glee.

The gossip gangster was in Coffee Bean when he was caught on camera getting served. Legal documents that is; not an ice coffee. Clip is below. There is also another juicy video on TMZ.

This is a very informative article about Perez.