Right now, this very post lacks a title. I turn to you dear readers. Choose a title. Elect a title. And I will adhere. Word!
There has a been a brief lull on my YouTube channel. Programming has been suspended until I get a functional program to edit my video clips. Windows Movie Maker has narcolepsy. Very sad. But oh so true. You’ll be in middle of using it and it will just starts snoozing…
So, as I search for video editing software, the seventeen subscribers to my channel will just have to remain calm and patient. Because I am clearly anxious and impatient…
Um. Where do I begin? I begin with the evening news. A few weeks ago I got an email in my YouTube account. Some guy requesting I make clip on how I would solve the situation in Iraq. FYI, there is a situation on Iraq.
Many Republicans deny the existence of a situation in Iraq. In fact, the other day, a Neo-con was overheard denying the actual existence of Iraq; “Iraq who? Never heard of it.”
Anyways, so I made this lame clip. Anyways, the guy emails me this evening. That what?
That I was featured on the friggin news! Clip is here. It’s at the end. They conclude with me. Wow. Yay. And the anchor cracks a smile.
Well, well, well. Guess who finally decided to show up and add something to his blog? I’ll give you three hints:
1) he is unabashed
2) he continues to molest the English language (see #1)
3) seriously, two hints should suffice.
Before we cast our net on the topics for this evening, I would like to inform my dear readers that. My previous sentence ended in middle of a thought. How awesome is that? Huh?
Another thing to inform you is that there is more than one person who reads this blog! And I am not counting myself, because, frankly, I do not read trash.
So, big props to Ben & Rebecca. It is beyond my scope of comprehension. As to why they come here. In fact, I am considering a restraining order. Kidding!
I love you. Madly. Falsely. And shallowly.
Fact of the matter is, I have other stuff to day as well. But. And a big but. Not a bubble but. Just a big but. I will save it for the next post.
The folks of Oglivy have cruised my blog. Splenda! (That’s a brand of sweet and low for all of you who use real sugar.)
And I have proof of the mather matter. Their DNA has surfaced on my radar.
Normally, I would choose to ignore of a visitation of such magnitude.
Oglivy, for those of you who use authentic sugar, are the folks who invented the billboard. Long story short, in the early 1600’s, there was a man called “Elroy McFudsmith”. I am not sure what exactly transpired next. But I do know this. Oglivy is rather large ad company.
So, to the folks from Oglivy who window shop this piece of web property, I say: Welcome. Please make yourself at home. You can even lounge on the leather couches in the living room.
Comfortable? Good. Help me! Get me out of this One Park of Domain. Hire me. Give me my own office. With a secretary. Do you see how low I have fallen?
Just a few months ago, I was living large in a Montreal basement. Today…I have become the official Rabbi of YouTube.
Good Monday. But first. A thank you. To a Talmud translated into English. That’s how I learned the word “throe”. Not exactly sure what it means, but I can bluff my way through a contextual usage!
Big news for all my blog readers. John, you there? Adam, are you reading this? Good. We’re all here. All three of us. Proceed. Who me? Yes me.
So, this blog all started because of a forthcoming TV show. The name of the intended TV show was “One Park Avenue“. However, it has now been confirmed that the show will be dismembered. Read more here.
So what now? Do I trash this blog? Should I frame it? Freeze it? Any ideas?
This Friday is a big shopping day. People spend a lot of money. Retailers get happy. Consumers begin racking up debt.
The event is called Black Friday. Why? Because traditionally, this is the day that retailers exit the red (losing money) and enter the black (making a profit).
Applying this color scheme logic, consumers ought to refer to this day as Red Friday. If July 4th were to fall out on a Friday, would the auspicious day then be called “red, white and blue Friday?” I love it. Let’s make a coalition and institute ASAP.
Anyways, check out the pre-flyer from Walmart. Them guys be selling a big flat screen for cheap dollars. Maybe I go with a camcorder to check out the scene.
Does y’all reckon that these folks will create another franchise called “smashmywalmartplasma“?
Btw, have you subscribed to my YouTube channel? Me thinks not. For shame. I hate you until you subscribe. Thereafter, I shall heart you forever!
Many of you have jobs. Lives. Friends. Hair. And/or a car with leather interior. But I am not the least bit envious. Because all those things come and go. Whereas I possess nine pair of shoes (excluding my flip-flops), which will never cease to exist. How can I be certain of this? Truth is, I am not. But admit this; it would be super cool if my shoes outlasted modern civilization.
And this brings me, albeit via a fork in the road, to the crux of this BP. During the past few days, I have watched several clips on YouTube that have inspired me to watch more YouTube clips in the future. BTW, if I were ever elected as President of the USA, I would make this a campaign promise; as your dedicated man in the White House, I would devote at
least a half-hour each day to waste time on world wide web.
True to my previous post, I will be drilling out several blog posts this evening. BTW, I have decided to shorten the term “blog-post”. From now on, I will refer to it as BP. Hope you like it. If you don’t, feel free to address it at our next corporate meeting. Better yet, just come over to me during the office Christmas party. I am usually in a jovial mood during this Yuletide gathering.
This afternoon, not early afternoon or late afternoon, it was probably around mid-afternoon. Of course it wasn’t precisely mid-afternoon. Maybe it was. I just do not wish to assume the responsibility of establishing the moment as being exactly mid-afternoon. I was on Drudge. Not on Matt himself. Just his website. Above the news, there was a banner ad that caught my eye.
What did I spy with my big blue eye? Find out in the next BP!
So, I was reading a self-help book. Yeah. I know it hasn’t worked. The author said that it’s better to do ten decent projects versus one perfect project. This was in context to a thesis/study. In fact, the book was written much before blogs even step foot onto US soil. Nonetheless, I am applying this theme to my blog posts.
Up until now, they were all perfect. Without flaw. Like me. However, now, everything, changes. I will post more often. But each post will not be perfect. Near perfection though.
First and foremost, I am sorry. My bad. I have not blogged in over a week. It’s been a dry spell. Well, I have a valid excuse. A dog ate my laptop. Unfortunately, my laptop was a Dell and the battery exploded after the mutt swallowed it. The dog’s family is now suing Dell.
Such much has occurred since we last communicated. I was in LA; went to a Dolphin’s game and watched Borat. This and more happenings are most certainly worthy of their own posting.
To business. Not real business. Just blog business. My cousin and her neighbor were inspired by my YouTube channel. This was their reasoning “if a dimwit like him can make video clips, we, the carpool moms can surely do our own thing“.
To keep the long tail on a rather short leash, their idea was to create a Jewish style talk-show; discussing Jewish topics and cooking Kosher style foods. They made a demo reel, which I filmed. As part of the guest segment, I was asked to play the part of Rabbi ShmuleyBoteach, author of Kosher Sex and another 50 or so books (all good books too!), who not only has a TV show, but even has his own freaking wiki entry!
1) The following is only part #1. If you behave, perhaps there will be a second helping.
2) These talented women pitched the show to a producer and…they got it! And fear not, it’s just them. Not me!
