Have you seen my retainer?
Has anyone seen my retainer? I was last wearing it this morning. In Brooklyn. The next thing I know, my retainer is gone! It disappeared sometime before breakfast and after breakfast. The odds that I actually ate the oral contraption are slim to none.
It’s not the first time I misplaced my pink retainer. Normally, it takes me about a half hour of searching and swearing to locate the missing mouth piece. Not today. I fear the worst. My retainer may be gone for good.
I am offering a reward for its return. First, before the reward details, I give you a brief retainer description. It’s pink with a wire going around the front. It is molded in the shape of my lower teeth. I do not have a photo of my retainer. Otherwise I’d post it.
The reward is $25. Cash. US dollars. In an unmarked envelope or a travelers check. Whatever floats your raft. I just want my retainer back & wedged firmly beneath my palate.
Just so you know, I do not suspect that any foul play was involved.
September 27th, 2006 at 10:14 pm
Using My Blog To Track Down My Missing Retainer…
Some people use blogs to promote their business. Me? I am just trying to find my freaking retainer!…
September 29th, 2006 at 1:18 pm
I can’t say for certain that I know where your retainer is… But I strongly suspect that it may be found with or near my car keys.
As you suggest I do not want to come right out and say “foul play,” but at this point I do not feel that it would be wise to completely rule it out… My initial suspicions started when I noticed an unusual number of socks missing their partner.
I guess what I am saying is… be careful… I would assume anyone with a well aligned set of bottom teeth, one sock, driving my car to be the culprit.